Dreams and Such

**For those of you who don’t know (and may not even really care), here’s an addition to my last post:

Addendum!! My wonderful, brilliant, incredible, gifted, did I say wonderful, husband came home after a 12 hour day and found my lost pages!!! Even he doesn’t know how they ended up where they were but at this point, I’m too elated to care! I immediately took him to Sonic and bought him a sundae!!

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I had the best and strangest dream last night.  I was in town, I believe, and irritated.  Not sure by whom or what, but then I walked up on this man.  His hair was curly, his face weathered.  I gasped and the few people with me asked what was wrong.  I said, “Don’t you know who this is?  He’s Robert Plant!”  The man smiled at me, happy that I recognized him and he gripped my hand.  Then he began to sing “All of My Love” to me.  In my dream, the song was crystal clear, the warmth of his hand so very real, and the way he made me feel so much better was unbelievable.  I woke up smiling…his words slipping through my head.

Told you it was strange but it was so cool.  The Robert Plant sang to me.  The Robert Plant who is too cool for school…well, way too cool for me anyway.  (For you non-classic rock lovers, he was the lead singer of Led Zeppelin.)  In his honor, here’s a little video.

And for my very own love…the savior of missing documents, the house mechanic, accountant and electronic wizard, you’re way cooler than even Robert Plant, just so you know!

I’m screaming…just so you know!

The unspeakable just happened…and I may throw up…across the room and all the way to town.  Somehow, in some completely foreign, unknown to me way, I just lost at least 2 chapters of my latest book and all the rewrites I did Saturday.  I don’t know what the heck just happened!  I opened it up to start anew and it’s just gone…like disappeared gone.  I always, always save my work…heck, my computer does it for me if I don’t do it often enough!  Where could it have gone?

Okay fellow writers, what do you do when this happens to you?  Do you cry, scream, run in circles?  Do you try to rewrite what you had or just start over?

I feel like I just lost a couple of toes…like they vanished without preamble off my foot.  I know it’s ridiculous, I know I’m freaking out over something not really worth freaking out over…but ugg….those were my thoughts, pages of my other life, my little word babies.

Help!

What would you attempt…?

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? 

That’s the quote hanging in my husband’s new office.  He’s ventured into a new business, a step that took nerve and gumption. I thought the quote suited the moment perfectly.  How hard is it for us to try something new?  To quit being afraid?  To say I’m going to go for it no matter the risks?  My hubby made that step and I couldn’t be more proud of him and his drive.

That quote suits us all, doesn’t it?  How often would we try more, give more, if only we knew we would not fail in our attempts?  I think for most of us, that fear of failure keeps us glued to the ground below us.

For the past three weeks, we have had varied amounts of winter precipitation.  From snow to ice, we’ve missed 8.5 days out of the last 14.  Since we’ve got 13 built-in weather days, I’ve found these days a treat.  Honestly, like some gift from above.  The first week, I was a vegetable.  I ate, cleaned a little, vegged out.  The past two, something else has happened.  Something totally wonderful and unexpected considering the constant gray skies we’ve had.  I started writing again!  It actually started out as voracious reading…reading everything I could get my hands on, including some of my old stories.  Then boom, it turned into writing.  In the past few days alone, I’ve written for hours at a time, page after page that are effortlessly flowing out.

These are great moments for me…like indescribable, giddy moments where I become lost in a world in my head that flows out through my fingers.  Ah…heaven.

These three weeks of being able to go into my zone, to create often, to do something I love so much have been a reminder that someday, one day I want to write all the time.

But what if I fail?  What if I’m not good enough?  What if nobody likes what I write?

You know what?  Those are all real feelings and concerns but what if I never do it because I’m just afraid?  To me that’s worse.  To me, that’s scarier than the alternative.

Maybe I need a copy of hubby’s new quote tattooed to my wrist (just kidding), or somewhere up where I can see it every day.  Maybe we all need a reminder to live for more instead of dying in fear.  Maybe life shouldn’t be controlled by fear but led by gumption, and drive, and hope.  Maybe failure only truly occurs when we simply quit trying.