Does moving forward mean leaving memories behind? Is that even possible? Must we compartmentalize our memories so they no longer keep us frozen in time? Must we put them into a file and tuck them away deep in our mental and emotional filing cabinets, only to pull out when the weight of the past comes heavily knocking?
Does letting go mean erasing?
So far, in this lifetime, I have never been able to erase anything painful or horrendous or simply unwanted. Instead, it’s much more a desire to want different, to want better. It’s been simply planting two feet on the floor and moving forward. And so far, I haven’t found the magic solution for unwanted memories. They never leave…not really.
What I’ve discovered instead is how to wrangle the thoughts. Through much practice, I have learned how to redirect unwanted thoughts. When they whisper or suddenly burst to mind, I usher them right back out. Goodbye negative…get the heck out of my mind and heart.
The crippling part is even when they’ve been escorted to the door, at some point they come knocking again. But with each visit, the sharpness of the image fades, the acuteness of pain eases just a touch. Still they linger…but perhaps they are supposed to. Perhaps what we learn from the past should never really leave us, not completely. Perhaps even as we let go and move forward, we need the lessons from the past to push us on. We let go, we move forward, but perhaps the fuel behind the acceleration is the actual pain itself.