Theme park 101:
1. You will at times feel like a cow. You will be herded in mass groups, shuffling along until you find a green pasture. If you suddenly moo, no one will notice.
2. All children act like children no matter where they are. They will invade your personal space, confuse you with their mother, and whine uncontrollably for the slightest infraction. And those were the ‘other’ children – my crew behaved perfectly.
3. When Optimus Prime looks at you and says, “I will always consider you my friend,” you will get chill bumps.
4. When a place claims to be the happiest place on the planet, they only mean after you’ve acclimated to 50,000 other people and the never ending touching by strangers. Once you’ve settled in, relaxed a little, taken a nerve pill, and accepted the fact that you can’t have the place all to yourself, then you can be happy.
5. If you’re on a water ride, keep your mouth closed at all times. The water has a poignant body odor smell and will transfer to your skin in a single splash.
5. Nothing…I mean nothing is better than watching a parade of characters surrounded by kids, big kids and little kids. The sighs, the blood curdling screams, the precious sounds of delight when a favorite character is spotted. Absolutely priceless.