Courage

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Courage is something I struggle with on a daily basis. Courage to keep moving forward instead of burying myself under blankets on my couch. Courage to face the never-ending trail of problems that arise with raising teenagers every…single…day. Courage to tackle problems at work when all I really want to do is sit down and cry.

Courage to face life when life is nothing but brutal at times.

Where does it come from? Where does that push come from…the push that propels you forward on stumbling feet into the next hour, the next day, the next week?

There’s no doubt that through the hardest moments in my life I simply executed the feet on the floor plan.  First, put your feet on the floor.  Second, just stand up and move.  Third, don’t forget to breathe.  Somehow, those simple movements worked.

But what about the everyday, mundane activities?  Do those moments require courage or is it something else all together?  Perhaps it’s gumption or nerve.  Perhaps all we need is the desire to think positive, fist-bumping thoughts.  Or perhaps it’s faith – a calming belief that you’re not ever really alone.

I ask for guidance a lot…lots of prayers, lots of listening.  I ask for direction and clarity so that I don’t lose myself in the world’s clutter.  Granted, most of the time I don’t clearly hear anything, and honestly, I may be a little afraid to hear it all.  What if what I want in life and what is my true future don’t mesh?  What if….

So instead of booking a long-term trip on the what if express, I try to do this:  I try to dream (most) every day, I try to focus on today’s problems or glories, whichever they may be, and I try not to worry.  That last one is a hard one for me.  Worry will suck you dry, I have found.

Life is unknown.  It is beautiful, scary, heartbreaking and exciting.  It takes an act of courage to simply be a part of life each and every day.  Courage has to be in there somewhere, doesn’t it?  How would any of us survive if we didn’t have it in us – encouraging us, pushing us, forcing us to take the next step?  Maybe we’re all stronger than we give ourselves credit for.  Strong enough to face life and strong enough to have the audacity to say, “I won’t give up.”  Maybe that’s real courage.

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